


I've been holding on to nothing, reaching out to something, waiting for someone like you.

by korypatrol



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Kory and Dick + their children, thats all the show should be too, thats it thats the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21847879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korypatrol/pseuds/korypatrol
Summary: She wonders not for the first time and certainly not the last what type of person she was in the life she doesn’t remember. The heat of the flame bursting from her palms as she reduces a man to ashes outside a gas station whispers many possibilities. Soldier, Warrior, Survivor. Eventually, Rachel Roth calls her a ‘badass’, admiration shining in her little blue eyes and Kory hears the similarities between the words.Basically a little (yet not so little) compilation of Season 1 moments. Some canon compliant and some definitely not canon compliant. In a nut shell its my version of Season 1 through Kory's perspective with a shit ton of found family fluff and a little bit of dickkory.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	I've been holding on to nothing, reaching out to something, waiting for someone like you.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue what this is I just missed Titans season 1 because even though season 2 had a few good moments it was a bit of a hot mess in my opinion. My grammar is t e r r i b l e so I apologise ahead of time and ao3 kind of screwed up how my dialogue was set out which is annoying. If you can look past that and if like me your holding a prayer circle for more Kory content with her children and husband next season then you'll probably enjoy this fic. 
> 
> The title is from the song 'Purple' by Six60 which if you haven't heard this song or of them before you need to fix that asap. The lyrics fit the beginning themes of this fic and its probably a good song to listen to while you read if your into that sort of thing. 
> 
> Oh also I don't own any of these characters, idk if you have to say that but I've seen people do it before so might as well be safe.

A woman wakes on a strange planet.

A planet where the sky is grey and the air is cool. A planet where there is a man with his skull bashed in seated next to her. A sickly, red dripping sound atop the backdrop of an upbeat melody. A planet where when men chase she knows to run despite not knowing much else. This is a planet where she doesn’t know her own name.

‘Kory Anders’ doesn’t exactly feel right but it doesn’t feel wrong either. When she sees it on the strange document next to the photo of a woman, a photo of herself, she gets a pang of... something. Something almost familiar. She shapes the words with her mouth and doesn’t hate it. Kory Anders, she thinks is a good place to start.

Rachel Roth is an even better one. Breaking into her home is ridiculously easy. No place can keep her out on this cardboard planet. Knocking the men inside unconscious is comforting, makes her feel in control. She wonders not for the first time and certainly not the last what type of person she was in the life she doesn’t remember. The heat of the flame bursting from her palms as she reduces a man to ashes outside a gas station whispers many possibilities. Soldier, Warrior, Survivor. Eventually, Rachel Roth calls her a ‘badass’, admiration shining in her little blue eyes and Kory hears the similarities between the words. Rachel didn’t give her as much information as she had originally hoped for but protecting her is teaching Kory more about herself than she previously knew. That was something at least.

Dick Grayson doesn’t see Kory as a warrior. He accuses her of kidnapping Rachel almost instantly after meeting her. She's slightly surprised at how swiftly Rachel defends her. “She saved me when you didn’t.” Kory can see the hurt shaking in her frame. It seems that Rachel Roth cares for people faster than her body can handle. Faster than whats probably good for her noting the betrayal in her tone. “Rachel I’m sorry,” Kory hears no lies in Dick’s words but Rachel shatters every piece of glass in the nearby vicinity. Maybe it's faster than what's good for any of them.

Later when they follow the smoke cloud backs to the nuns Kory curses herself for trusting that Dick would stay with her. The fire licks at her fingertips, practically leaking out of her, ready to do whatever it takes to get Rachel back. Absently she plays with one of her rings on the drive to the police station as a way to release some of the pent up energy. She melts it down to a gold goo, this really gross mess on her lap, without even realising it. Dick pretends not to see. She appreciates it.

Dick beats a man half to death. Her view is restricted to the back of his head, the tense line of his shoulders as his fist pounds down over and over and over. The grotesque crunch of flesh and bones colliding is deafening along with the man's pathetic whimpering noises. But none is louder than Dicks slew of questions she's not sure he's aware he's shouting. Where is she? What did you do to her? As if the man currently getting his face pulverised could possibly give him any answers. When she spots the little boy in the hallway she halts Dicks arm from reigning down once more, taking special care not to accidentally snap his fragile bones. The muscles flex within her grip, pushing against her like he wants to keep going. His eyes are wide and helpless and  _ oh, you’re the same _ she realises.  _ You’ll burn down the world to find her. Does that scare you too? _ Maybe both of them are more like Rachel than she originally anticipated.

Rachel falls asleep about twenty minutes after driving away from the mansion. The odd, green stowaway next to her is bopping his head to whatever no doubt terrible song he’s listening to on his headphones. He's got it so loud Kory can faintly hear the horrendous melody from the front of the car. “Why have we picked up another child?” she wonders aloud. Dick shrugs. “Rachel insisted.” In the rearview mirror, Kory watches her wrap her arms tighter around herself and smiles at how her cheeks are smooshed against the side of the door.

“Fair enough then” Kory agrees.

They order pizza pretty much the second they arrive at the motel. “Thank god, they had vegan options,” says Gar as he takes a ravenous bite of his slice. At least that's what Kory thinks he says, his words rather muffled from the sheer amount of pastry and fake cheese in his mouth. He continues to scoff down the pizza like a starving man. “No one's gonna take it away from you kid” she feels obligated to tell him. Gar goes bright red and Kory kind of feels bad. Oh well. The silence in the air is a little dense. Made less so by the fact that the other three were eating for the first time in what felt like ages, therefore, conversation wasn’t really expected. Though it was still very apparent that they were all taking in the odd nature of their current circumstances. The four of them were essentially strangers yet somehow here they were in a motel room sharing a meal together. Kory has learnt quickly that life is strange like that. Dick, ever the soldier, begins rattling off a game plan of sorts, catching Gar up to speed with what's happening with the people coming after Rachel. The poor boy turns a little green around the gills as Dick describes the life-threatening danger they're in as if he was ordering his morning coffee. She means that legitimately his hand looks physically green. Kory does a swift double take but there's not a tinge of green skin insight. Dick and Rachel didn’t even notice so maybe she imagined it. Still, there is a light sheen of sweat on Gars forehead and she wonders if he still would’ve come with them if he knew about this danger before leaving that mansion.

Later as she watches him laugh at something Rachel said, head thrown back in childish glee she doesn’t wonder anymore. “It's good to see her acting like a normal kid again,” Dick says startling Kory, not really expecting him to talk. Both in a silent agreement to keep an eye on the kids. “What I saw back there was not normal” Kory suppresses a shudder remembering the force of the blast from earlier throwing them all to the ground. The swirling black masses pouring from Rachel's mouth, covering her eyes. She wasn’t in control. Gold melting to liquid, relentless fists beating flesh to mush, Gar’s clenched hands coloured a slight shade of green. But when Rachel lost control it was different, the energy in the air shifted, the hairs on the back of Kory's neck stood up. When she blasted the oozing black substance with her flame she felt resistance. A force pushing against her, snapping back at her hand like a rubber band. Her arm still pulses a little, a dull ache serving as a reminder of the immense, unknown power within such a small, innocent creature. "Why do you think they're after her?" Dick asks, eyes sullen. Kory hadn't been aware that he was staring. "I think it has something to do with that prophecy I found on my wall." 

"That somehow Rachels gonna bring about the end of the world?" He shakes his head. Kory's hand twitches. 

"Or stop it."

"That's bullshit," Dick scoffs, "people make up stories about things they don't understand." 

Rachel's got her right arm stretched out in the air, a wide, animated smile on her face. Gars watching her with astonished wonder. "Maybe," Kory relents, "but that doesn't mean the people after her won't kill to get her." 

Dick double-checks the knots used to tie the creepy family to their chairs five times before finally leaving. He almost goes back in for a sixth when Kory practically drags him out. "I'm coming with you," she says as he checks the GPS from the family's car.  _ Maybe we can figure it out together _ ."They'll kill any cops that try to handle them." 

"Oh, I know what to do with them alright." 

"Kory," he sighs, "no killing, there's been enough." Rachel plays with a loose thread on her jumper."I thought we weren't splitting up," her voice is so small that it breaks Kory's heart a little. "I'll be back, I promise." Rachel nods but doesn't seem overly convinced, Kory isn't sure if she is either. The Robin drives away into the night. Leaving her with two no doubt severely traumatised teenagers hyped up on adrenaline. Her short term solution to this is vending machine candy and a movie on the dingy little television in her room. Rachel informed her that there was a channel that did late-night movies on Fridays. Luckily they only missed about five minutes of it getting situated on the queen-sized bed that felt a little cramped with two kids crammed on each side of her. "You've really never watched a movie before?" Gar seems almost insulted at the prospect. Kory shrugs. "Not that I remember no," The kid's eyes seem to bug out of his head, almost comically. 

"Well this is an okay place to start I guess but there are several things you must see once we get the time like Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Invasion of the Bo- hey!" He's talking a mile a minute like there's just too much for his brain to hold when Rachel throws a piece of popcorn at his head. "I'm trying to watch," she admonishes. 

"Okay Jesus fine but she's never seen any movie ever and I just-" he shakes his head and makes an exploding gesture with his hands. Kory can't help but grin. When the little blonde girl in the film falls down the hole and wakes up in some sort of whimsical, magical land Rachel falls asleep on her shoulder, lightly drooling on her fur coat. Gars still awake eyes trained to the screen as he shovels chocolate into his mouth without paying attention.

"Once we get time away from all the brainwashed psychopaths," she says and Gar jumps a little, "we can watch as many movies as you want." When he smiles it lights up his whole face, even after everything he's been through he somehow maintains such a joyful demeanour. Kory would watch a million movies to keep it that way. 

The drive back from the asylum is difficult, to say the least. Despite the fact that his eyes are glazed over and he's swaying on his feet Dick insists on driving. Obviously, she doesn't let him but shoving him into the front seat and strapping him in like a child isn't enjoyable for anyone. Gars mouth and chin are absolutely covered in blood, his expression disturbingly vacant and it might be the weird, stinging pain in her throat or because for some reason she can still feel faintly feel shackles on her ankles and wrists, it's making her want to cry. At least Rachel doesn't seem too banged up, hunched over in the back seat whispering with Angela. She tries to focus on that, Rachel is okay. Gar and Dick... will be okay and she's fine too. She's completely fine she just needs to keep her eyes on the road until they get back to the safe house.  _ Amputate her finger from her left hand _ . Kory shudders, you're fine, you're fine. Repeating the mantra until they pull up to the tower. Dick vomits in the car park as he practically falls out of his seat. "Fuck," Kory whispers as she runs around the car to help him. Thankfully Rachel went straight inside with Angela but Gar still completely out of it is staring at Dicks slumped form and bile with a disturbing detachedness. "Gar go inside," she snaps putting Dicks arm over her shoulder. The kid doesn't even react. "Gar!" Thankfully he seems to hear this, nodding weakly. Once they get off the elevator he goes straight to one of the bedrooms, shutting the door with a definitive slam. Leaving him alone is probably the worst idea ever right now but the high as a kite man on her arm going through the worlds worst trip is her primary concern. Said man seems to sense how terrible this plan is. "Wait, Gar-" he slurs pressing the pads of his fingers to the door as they stumble past. "You're no help to him right now" she flings open a random bedroom door, "I'll check on him in a second." Surprisingly Dick doesn't argue but that's probably because he chooses this moment to pass out. Kory places him carefully on the bed, removing his shoes and vomit-covered shirt. His hair is ridiculously messy in a way that she might've found charming if it wasn't drenched in sweat. His brow is furrowed, the drugs probably making it difficult to have a peaceful rest. She tries to smooth it out with her index finger without making an executive decision to do so. Huh. Well, that was fucking weird. She retracts her hand like she was burnt, which is a little ironic. Gars huddled on the floor in the corner of the room when she gets her priorities straight enough to go to find him. None of the lights are on so she fixes that as soon as she enters. "Kory?" Gar seems alarmed, so much fear in his eyes that Kory wishes she could devise a more painful way to die than burning to death for those sick fucks. "Stay back!" he shouts as she tries to approach. When she gets around the corner of the bed she sees why. Gars hands are stretched into green claws where they dig into the side of his knees as he hugs himself. Blood dripping thick and vividly red from where they pierce the skin. "Gar," she says slowly "you're hurting yourself." There are tears in his unnaturally green eyes, teeth painfully shifting from canines back to normal and then repeating over and over. "I can't control it,” he cries, "you have to stay back, you have to get safe.” He scrunches his eyes shut rocking back and forth. "Gar" she repeats, "you can't hurt me." He shakes his head at her words whispering no, no, no. "Seriously Gar you can't." He just keeps shaking his head as she begins to approach again. Kory kneels down to his level. "I promise you won't," hopefully her voice sounds firm enough. She slowly grabs Gar's claws and rips them from his skin as delicately as possible, Gar winces. "Kory-" he hesitates.

“It's okay," she whispers wrapping him up into a hug. The claws seem to sharpen in attempt to stab into her back.

"Kory!" Gar shouts trying to pull away from her. 

"Shh it's okay Gar you're not hurting me," and he wasn't. Perks of impenetrable skin. This finally seems to click for him as he slumps against her, sobbing into her shoulder. She strokes his bright green hair in a pathetic attempt at some semblance of comfort. As much comfort, you can possibly give a kid who was probably just tortured and forced to eat a person. It's lucky her tank is empty otherwise she might have accidentally seared Gars hair off. They sit there a while, Gar crying and Kory holding him until eventually, Gar drifts off. She tucks him into bed and watches him for a bit just in case he wakes up again. A bit turns into once light begins to form and spread across the horizon. She feels a little better once the morning sun kisses her skin. 

Kory blames it on the exhaustion that she ends up in Dicks room again. Also, the fact that it's practical to make sure Dick hasn't choked on his own vomit in the night. It feels less practical when she wakes up with Dicks body sprawled against hers, arms wrapped tightly around her in his sleep. He seems more at peace now, brow no longer scrunched, mouth parted. It's probably because the drugs are out his system she reasons.  _ She heals so quickly! _ A woman remarks and Kory tenses. There's a tube shoved in her mouth, she can feel the plastic scratch against the flesh inside her throat.  _ She must be capable of limited regeneration. _ There are metal shackles across her waist, weighing her down. She writhes and pushes against them.  _ Let's find out just how limited- _ "Kory?" she gasps for air. Dick's hands are on her face, eyes frantically scanning her as if searching for a wound. 

"I-" she stutters, embarrassingly wiping away the tears welled in her eyes with her free hand. "I thought I was still-“ 

Dick suddenly grabs that hand and presses his lips to it. Kory's mouth gapes."We're safe now," he mutters not letting go, wiping away another stray tear with his hand that's still on her face. 

_ What the fuck? _

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you" his voice is low and serious, Kory can only stare. "Besides your like the strongest person ever like-like Clark or Diana or Donna-" _ Oh _ , Kory remembers.

"You're still on drugs" she chuckles weakly. Dicks grins. 

"Maybe, but feels better now," he lies back down next to her, pressing her hand against his chest where he's holding it. "Warm," he whispers almost too quietly for her to hear. It's a perfect moment to tease him about how she should've gotten him high to loosen him up rather than trying to get him drunk but as of present she can't focus on anything else but the feel of her knuckles pressed up against his bare skin. The thump of his heartbeat against the back of her hand. They've seen each other naked but this quiet, subconscious trust he has for her in his most vulnerable state feels more intimate than anything they did in that motel room. "Kory," Dick mumbles and she's more than a little startled when she discovers he was already asleep. He says her name three more times in the next hour and she doesn't sleep a wink.

Rachel Roth reaches inside Kory Anders head and everything explodes.

_ Koriand'r _ a tall imposing woman with long, flowing hair calls to her.  _ We thought you were dead _ her tone is formal but her hands slightly shake.  _ My mission? _ Koriand'r asks and Kory Anders can only listen. Koriand'r grips the demon spawn by the throat, cutting off the fragile, little things air.  _ You're the only one who can save us _ the woman cries. The flame rises against the spawns throat, Rachel raises her right hand in the air in a parking lot of a motel. Gar claps as she imitates how Kory Anders saved her life in a gas station. The spawn lets out a blood-curdling scream. "Kory," Dick pleads, "whatever this is your going through please let us help." 

She retracts her hand from a sleeping man's face. "I don't need your help." 

Koriand'r approaches a warehouse. _ Koriand'r? Koriand'r? _ A grey ship descends from the sky. A crown clatters to the floor. "You're getting your memories back," Dick concludes. 

"Nothing makes sense," she pushes a rogue curl from her face, "I c-can't make order to anything." _ Well let's figure it out together _ says a man to a bunch of strangers. "All I know is that I tried to kill a girl that I love and I don't know why." She turns to the door of the warehouse, the warehouse Koriand'r once approached. "The answer is in here."

The scanners on Princess Koriand'rs ship identify three organisms. Tamaranean, Amazon, Human. "This ship," Kory gasps, "I know it."  _ I'll miss you _ Koriand'r says to a girl with purple hair.  _ Just don't fuck this up _ Komand'r scoffs as her sister ascends to the skies. "It's mine" Kory realises. As are all the memories of the other planet, the other world, the other home. The first one she knew before this screwed up little, blue one took her heart. She is Koriand'r Princess of Tamaran, Daughter of Luand'r and Myand'r, Sister of Ryand'r and Komand'r. Soldier, warrior, survivor. But now much more, she's Kory Anders too. Badass, friend, Starfire.

Angela's house is malting, walls slowly caving in on itself as it shivers in the presence of Trigons power. The four of them are scattered across the living room, slowly regaining consciousness from the force of the demons blast. "Where is he?" Dick asks pushing himself up from the ground only to yelp as his arms refuse to hold him up. Kory groans as her head spins.

“He's outside," Rachel says seated with her legs folded staring at a nearby window. If her voice wasn't quivering Kory could almost think she looked quite peaceful.

"He's taking energy from the trees, the birds." She looks at the floor, "he's killing them." Kory uses a nearby couch to haul herself up wincing at the stars in her eyes. Shakily she sits down next to Rachel. The house continues to creak and moan. 

"I did this," Rachel gasps tears welling up in her eyes. She brings up her hands and regards them with horror. "I brought him here." 

"You didn't know," Gar states firmly, grunting as he sits on the other side of Rachel. "You thought you were saving me, you  _ did _ save me." 

"And now we're all going to die." No one argues with that, they just watch as a great oak tree outside shrivels to dust. Dick joins them, watching the sky grow more grey, watching the birds drop like fly's. "This is what I was made for," Rachel's bottom lip wobbles, "to bring him here so he can eat the world."Kory takes her hand because she's speechless, she-she doesn't know what to say. How to fix this. She can't burn this man to death, she can't light this house on fire, she can't hug them until they fall asleep. Things won't be better in the morning when the sun revives her once more. The sun is falling from the sky and Trigon will ensure that it never returns.

"I brought you all here too," Rachel removes her hand from Kory's grip and wipes her eyes."I'm so sorry," her voice cracks with the walls. "If you had never met me you might have gotten to live." 

"Stop that," Kory snaps, "look at me." Reluctantly she complies. 

"If I had never met you I would just be this- this shell, trying to be a person she doesn't even remember." 

"At least you were alive!" 

"That was barely living Rachel," 

"Better that than dead," 

"We're not dead yet!" Gar interrupts gaining the attention of everyone in the room."We've been through hell these past few weeks, shit most of our lives really and there's no way we survived everything that-that's happened just to give up and die here." He huffs and scoffs, "otherwise I should've just died with my parents." The three of them are struck silent, it seems like even the shitty, creaky house doesn't dare to interrupt him now. "Yup this is bad. Really, really bad but I'm not just gonna sit here and wait to die," he nods as if he's reached a somewhat satisfying conclusion. "So someone give me a terrible plan that at least might work so I can say I went out with a fight." Something warm and sweet like pride swims in Kory's chest, if they somehow survive this she'll never underestimate Garfield Logan again.

"When I brought him here," Rachel says with a newfound cool determination, "I felt a kind of connection to wherever he was... I still feel it." 

"No fucking way," Kory practically shouts. At the exact same time Dick says, "Nope, that's not happening." 

"I meant that  _ I'll  _ be the one to do something ridiculously stupid and reckless!" Gars eyes do that thing where they bug out of his head.

"His power is in me," Rachel argues, "I'm the only one who has any chance of getting rid of him, of sending him back." 

Kory turns away from Rachel to meet Dick's eyes, her sheer panic reflected on his face. He's usually better at hiding what he feels but there it is clear as day. "You all know I'm right." Unfortunately, they did. Kory remembers the feeling of that resistance snapping back at her when they trained together. It felt like an impenetrable wall pushing against her flames. She can only hope that's enough to protect her beloved Rachel. Kory throws her arms around the poor girl, enveloping her as close as she possibly can. Desperately wishing that she could just keep her here, never leave this spot surrounded by all the people she's grown to love. "The prophecy said you might save the world," Kory sniffs, "It's possible the Raven was born to be the saviour of earth." 

"What if it was wrong?" Her words are slightly muffled against Kory's chest. 

"It wasn't," says Dick, reaching over Kory's shoulder to stroke Rachel's hair, another one of their pathetic attempts at comfort, "I know it wasn't." 

"I don't want to die," Rachel sobs cracking Kory's chest to pieces. "I don't want to die alone." 

"Then you won't," Gar says standing holding out his hand to Rachel. She takes it pulling away from Kory and Kory barely restrains herself from pulling her back down again. In a perfect world, she would have. She would have pulled the both of those kids back down with her and let them be kids for five seconds. But this is not a perfect world. This is a strange, cool, grey one where she grabs Rachel's other hand and rises with her, Dick following. Sparing a moment to stare as Dick places his hand in hers meeting her gaze once more, he nods at her."We won't leave you," Dick says but Kory hears something else.  _ This is how we figure it out together _ .

A woman wakes on a strange planet. In her travels, she encounters a Raven, a Robin, a Beast Boy and eventually a Starfire. She learns to love all of them in uniquely beautiful ways that she's never loved anyone before. Together they send the great Trigon back to the deep depths of hell where that scaly motherfucker belongs.

**Author's Note:**

> The movie Kory, Gar and Rachel watch in the motel room is 'Alice in Wonderland.' I was watching it on disney plus when I wrote this and the fact that Alice doesn't remember that she's been to Wonderland before kind of reminded me of Kory's arc in season 1. Bit of a stretch I know but I just thought it would be cool to add it in. 
> 
> Please go easy on me this is the first thing I've ever posted.


End file.
